Stuck on a Problem?

We’ve all been there.  Running the same problem over and over in our heads.  It may be a conversation that replays, along with the thought “if only I had said this” or “what did he mean when he said that?” Or, you may be compulsively calculating how you are going to get what you want or avoid the pain you most fear. These “problems” can run our lives if we let them, but there is a way out. 

The true problem is not your problem but the fact that you give your power to it.  Even if it is a “real” problem, for instance an illness, illness just is what it is.  It is a physical condition that fits a certain description that can be observed. 

The energy and emotion surrounding the illness, however, is only a problem if you allow it to be.  Through shifting this energy, you shift your mood and often the illness too.

Just like any problem, sometimes an illness is caused by energy you picked up from others.  The fact that you allowed this has to do with you, but the energy is from outside of you.  For example sinus problems can be caused because your telepathic channels are clogged.  This can happen when lots of people are talking to you in their minds.

What happens if you have an illness and then you add to it, “I’m a terrible person,” “What if there’s something really wrong and I die?”, “What if I lose my job?”, “I can’t afford to be sick,” “I can’t trust doctors,” “God hates me”, “I don’t know what to do”, “I hate this,” etc… etc…  These may be your thoughts, or other people’s worries, fears, or projections you are picking up—usually a combination of these.

Recognize the amount of power you give to these thoughts, and then recognize that you can use that power towards anything.  What if you took your power back and used it for healing or for simply living your life?

My mother has a friend in a wheelchair, who radiates enthusiasm for life.  I have seen so many more able-bodied people complaining about everything they think they don’t have.  And so they give all their power to their misery and they are unhappy.

There is that saying “misery loves company”.  It seems that it’s a cultural program to sit around and trade complaints with friends and family.  This is how we bond.  Of course, sometimes we need to vent, but what if we tried replacing even a few minutes a day of complaining with expressing gratitude? 

One thing that I often remind myself is to allow myself to be happy.  I have witnessed this, too, in friends and clients with incredible, fulfilling lives.  It’s like we feel too guilty having life so good so we create problems where there were none!  No matter where we are—even with much of our lives going well—we miss so many blessings in life when we are fixated on annihilating every little imperfection or perceived threat. 

The other day my hairdresser told me about her vacation plans for the holidays.  I said, “Are you excited?” and she said she was nervous about spending the money.  For her family of 4, she told me, with plane tickets to Asia for 2 weeks it was going to cost $15,000.  She said this was a lot of money for her, and she was concerned about the payments she’d have after the fact. 

I had the picture of her on vacation, having spent the $15,000 and then spending the whole time obsessing about money.  So I suggested, “Just don’t worry while you’re there.  If you’re going to spend the money you may as well at least have fun.”  She smiled.  Sometimes we need a little reminder that it’s ok to have fun!

This same guilt or responsibility that causes us to ignore our blessings can also cause us to take on other people’s problems.  Whenever you have a problem that goes round and round on repeat with no apparent way out, it is not yours.  Once you recognize that, suddenly there’s no problem.

Say you are trying to move ahead in your career but failing.  You spend an incredible amount of energy trying to figure out how to get a promotion, more clients or customers, or that break you’ve been waiting for. 

Consider that maybe your goals are not your goals.  Maybe they are your mother’s, your father’s, your partner’s, your coworkers’, friends’, or goals based on social agreements.  Maybe they just need a little tweaking.  Maybe you want to do something different entirely?  Maybe your timing is off?  Ask yourself.

You can never solve a problem from within the problem. Studies of creative people show that rarely do they get good ideas at their desk.

You have to change your whole approach to the problem to find a solution, but that’s the opposite of what most of us do, especially when the problem is “serious”. Then, we hang on for dear life. “No one’s been able to solve this problem,” we insist.

Once a woman came to me for a reading because of her loneliness. With a frown carved onto her face, she told me she had no one to call when she needed help, no one to spend the holidays with, no one who listens to her, no one interested in her life, and on and on.

What she didn’t seem to notice was that as she spoke, someone was listening to her, taking interest in her life, and pointing out a new perspective.  She was too afraid to heal, so she kept adding more fuel to the fire of her problem.

The most “serious” problems actually require the most detachment and amusement.  They usually cover up our deepest pockets of pain.  We are afraid that if we let them go, we’ll feel the pain.  And we will.  When we laugh for even a few minutes, our eyes start to tear.  Pain comes out.  The good news is, it’s moving out, and the freedom it uncovers is a solution that never knew a problem.

Try this: 

• When you vent, be conscious that you are venting, be conscious of how you vent and of how you effect or are affected by your surrounding environment.  If you recognize that your habits here are less than ideal, what are some alternatives?

• Before you go to bed at night, or at another time that works for you, express gratitude out loud for whatever you appreciate that day.  If you are in a relationship, you can do this with your partner.

• If you find yourself in a frenzy trying to solve a problem, take some time out by meditating or doing something nice for yourself.  Then, close your eyes and imagine a gauge out in front of you.  Ask that the gauge reflect what percentage (from 0-100%) of this problem is yours.  Trust whatever first comes to mind.  Then, let the gauge dissolve and imagine a beautiful rose out in front of you.  Decide that the rose will absorb all of the “problem” energy that you don’t need.  Notice what you see, hear or feel as this happens.  Then see the rose explode and disappear. What would you like to focus on instead of the problem?  Now you can have your life back!

If you'd like help getting a new perspective on problems and moving on with your life, consider giving yourself a reading & healing.

copyright 2006 Ann O'Brien- All Rights Reserved.

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